There’s a tugboat down by the river, under the boat,some evil eels are circling, on  a mission for a woman that goes by an alias named “Vanessa”. Vanessa’s hair is white. Her eyes are steel blue. 

There’s a cement bag… drooping down.. to Ursula’s Lair. 


Did you know that Ursula, aka “Vanessa” is a real mermaid? Because she is a mermaid, she is amphibious, breathing air as well as water. 

Why is she so angry? Possibly because a unique mutation gave her octopus tentacles instead of fins. Because of this mutation, she is not very friendly with her brother King Triton and her niece Ariel. She once actually lived in her brother King Triton’s palace and organized all of the celebrations. After she tried to make the kingdom “hers”, she was exiled. 

Inspired by Harris Milstead’s drag personality, she preys on the weak, keeping their bones in a graveyard under her lair. 

Looking for her at a Disney Park near you? Be careful. While she may have told   you that she has “mended her ways”, she keeps her “sharp teeth” out of sight. She likes to pretend that she uses her magic to help the lonely and depressed, and will help you too. But be careful. A deal signed in magic by the most powerful witch in the sea is BINDING.  Not everybody has a powerful king for a father.

Forget her fancy promises, her fancy promises. There’s a jack knife behind those sinister promises.


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